Bismillah. Before I start I just wanted to thank many of you for the personal messages that I’ve recieved. All of your love and support means so much and is the reason that I will continue to do my best in being consistent with these blog posts. May Allah reward each and everyone of you. Everything I post is a reminder to myself first and foremost and then to you. May Allah make us steadfast in our efforts to be closer to Him and may He open our hearts so that we continue to increase in our love for Him.
In our journey through life, we go through trials that lift us and some that break us. Often when faced with difficult tests, our first approach is to ask ourselves why it is that it is happening to us? Or in others words, why me?
Before we can even begin to understand how to clean our hearts, we first have to figure out how it is that we can fix a heart that is broken.
Now in my previous post, I mentioned that one of the divine atttributes of Allah is that He is Al-Jabbar (The restorer of hearts). I don’t know why but lately I’ve been pondering over this exalted name. I feel that it might be due to not only it’s majestic meaning, but how easily I’ve come to overlook the way that His attribute has been implemented into my life and I’m sure yours, many times before. The root of Al-Jabbar is ja-ba-ra and this can can take on many different meanings.
One of the ways to interpret the meaning of Al-Jabbar is by looking at how the literal meaning can be applied in various contexts. For instance, it can be interpreted to mean that He is the One who restores and demonstrates His willingness to fix His servants. Or even, that He is the mender of that which is broken. When we speak on that which is broken, in this context we are specifically referring to the hearts. This lump of flesh that we carry in our bodies and need in order to survive. Isn’t it interesting how we do our best to care for our physical hearts by eating healthy and exercising, yet what do we do for our spirtual side? When we have a broken heart do we allow it to stay that way, or do we call upon Him, Al-Jabbar to heal us?
When we think about this lump of flesh, I think what’s important to take into consideration is that we need to examine our own spirtual hearts and ask ourselves where we think we stand. What is it that we are doing that may cause our hearts to feel this way? Ask yourself, what activities am I engaging in? What am I saying when I speak? Who are my close friends that I choose to surround my self with? SubhanAllah, even if we were to achieve a perfectly sound heart, there will always be a downfall, a trial, and a reason for us to turn back to Him and ask Him to fix us. So when we’re making dua during our lowest and even highest points, it’s important that we constantly ask him to mend our broken hearts. To fix that which is broken, and continue fixing us even when we feel whole and complete.
Another thing that I’ve also come to notice for myself at least, and I’m sure many of you can relate, is that there are times in my life where I feel like I am at the edge of my faith and so close to giving up. For some reason, the shaytan’s wisasa (whispers) feels a whole lot stronger. The whispers intensify, ringing in my ears, and I feel like I’m a hypocrite for only seeking Allah Azwajjal when I need Him. That’s when I start to fall deeper and deeper into this hole that gets harder to dig myself out of. My heart hurts and it is at this point that I realize how fragile I am and how desperately my heart requires Allah Azwajjal to fix me. It is only through my pain that I realize the power of dua in conjunction with prayer, has been a powerful tool to help pull me out of the holes I keep digging myself into.
Throughout my own personal trials, I still do not completely understand why it is that certain things in my life happen, nor do I get why my heart sometimes feels the way it does. But what I can say, is that turning back to Allah when our hearts are broken does not make us hypocrites for seeking Him when we need Him. Allah is the Most Merciful and He wants us to call to Him. We shouldn’t fear seeking him when we need Him.
Even so, somtimes Allah puts trials into your life JUST so that you can return back to the straight path (الصراط المستقيم). Sometimes He breaks your heart because He knows that you will turn to Him the most when you are in desperate need of Him. It’s in our nature to rely on Him. So when your heart is shattered and you feel it is distant from His love, and when your heart is hurting, remember this beautiful dua that the Prophet ﷺ used when He desperatley needed Allah Azwajjal:
“O Allah! To you alone I complain my weakness, my scarcity of resources, and the humiliation I have been subjected to by people. O Most Merciful of those who have mercy! You are the Lord of the weak, and You are My Lord too.
To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair?
But as long as You are not angry with me, I do no care, except that Your favor is a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or Your displeasure descend upon me.
Yours is the right to reproach until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You.”
Use this dua to ponder upon His beauty and how regardless of how broken and dirty our hearts may feel, that we should always call upon Him no matter our condition. So, cleaning your heart starts first by working on fixing that which is broken. You’ll come to see that when you do this, slowly your actions will also coincide with working towards the journey of having a healed heart.
I conclude this blog post by reminding myself and readers that the worst thing that we can do is allow our hearts to stay in an unhealthy condition until it becomes hardened. A hardened heart will only work to push us away from him more and more, until we feel like we no longer need to rely on Him. So, let’s continue to push and be better versions of ourselves. Let’s work to not put too much effort on gaining all the pleasures of this dunya, but rather accumulate our deeds for the akhira. Let’s work on calling onto Him always and remembering Him when we are at both our lowest and highest points of faith.
I pray that Allah Azwajjal heals you and makes your journey easier. I pray that Allah guides you closer to Him. I pray that your broken heart is mended and is no longer hardened. I pray that if you feel your heart is softened, that you still continue praying to Him. I pray that He gives you a beautiful light that shines and that you always remember to rely on Him and Him only. Truly Allah is the Most Magnificent and the Most High, and Allah knows best.